Living with an Alcoholic: Practical Advice to Help Your Loved One and Yourself

If you decide to talk to your loved one about their drinking, it’s important to choose the right time. You might find hidden bottles, notice they are drinking alone, or see them lying about their whereabouts. Social plans may start revolving around alcohol, or they may avoid situations where drinking isn’t possible. Some children may try to hide the issue from friends or teachers out of embarrassment. Others might take on adult responsibilities early or act out in response to the chaos. Sometimes, kids can be affected even if the adult is not physically addicted but is simply misusing alcohol.

living with an alcoholic

Therapy

You can receive treatment in an individual, family, group, or couples setting. About 10.5% of young people under 18 live with at least one parent with AUD, according to research. Our free, confidential telephone consultation will help you find the best treatment program for you. We can also guide you in approaching a loved one who needs treatment. You might also consider involving a neutral third party, like a licensed therapist or addiction counselor.

Alcoholism and domestic abuse

Emotional symptoms, such as hypervigilance, mood swings, and difficulty feeling joy, can make daily life challenging. Relationships with others may suffer because trust becomes difficult to maintain. Ongoing exposure to unpredictable or violent behavior in the home can lead to symptoms very similar to those of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). You may be easily startled or feel “on edge” even in safe environments.

Can I control my spouse’s drinking?

  • Supporting your loved one with AUD can be extremely beneficial to their recovery.
  • Don’t wait— reach out today to take the first step toward taking control of your life.
  • A parent struggling with alcohol addiction may find it difficult to take care of themselves let alone look after a child.
  • But you feel they will not understand what it’s like to live with an alcoholic.

Table 2 depicts the problems faced by the wives of alcoholic living with an alcoholic clients in terms of frequency distribution of rating done by them. There were 70% wives who often felt anxious owing to the drinking problem of their husbands. More than 60% of wives also reported feeling mentally disturbed often. Despite such emotional problems, almost half of them never displaced their frustration on children and three-fourth of them never ignored their children.

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On the other hand, if you are living with an alcoholic who is the breadwinner of the household, you may not have the financial means to leave the household or the relationship. As a result, you may feel like you are trapped in an unsafe or unhealthy living situation. And above all else, take steps to keep you and the rest of your household safe and healthy. After recovery, some people with AUD may need support from friends and family. You can help by offering unconditional support, Drug rehabilitation including abstaining from drinking yourself.

living with an alcoholic

You can reach out to confidential helplines such as the SAMHSA National Helpline for information and referrals. Local support groups, therapy, and online communities can also offer assistance and guidance. Some organizations provide services in multiple languages to meet diverse needs. Setting aside time for yourself, even if briefly, makes a difference. Connecting with friends or family outside the home for support and relaxation is also recommended. Groups often meet in person or online, so it’s often easy to find meetings that fit your schedule.

Monitor your mental health for signs of depression or anxiety that commonly affect partners of alcoholics. Chronic stress from living with an alcoholic increases depression risk by 60% compared to the general population. Seek professional mental health treatment if you experience persistent sadness, sleep disturbances, or loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities. Codependency develops when you sacrifice your own needs to manage your alcoholic spouse’s drinking consequences.

If you think your loved one would be open to treatment, find a time to discuss different options with them or consider staging an intervention. You can also contact a treatment provider together to learn more about their rehab options. Deciding when to leave an alcoholic partner is one of the hardest decisions. If your partner’s drinking results in physical or emotional abuse, or if they continually refuse help, it may be time to consider leaving the relationship. Living with an alcoholic partner requires emotional resilience and strong boundaries.

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To avoid or minimize these effects it is important to directly address the issue of drinking, to try to help the alcoholic, and to leave the relationship if necessary. Consciously or unconsciously, the codependent may help the alcoholic to continue drinking to maintain the status quo. Many high-functioning alcoholics earn a good living and can support their families while continuing to drink. Intervening in the addictive behavior may be seen as a threat to the family’s financial security — even if the family must put up with emotional neglect or physical abuse. The U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics noted that nearly 60% of violent incidents against a domestic partner or family member were committed under the influence of alcohol.

John C. Umhau, MD, MPH, CPE is board-certified in addiction medicine and preventative medicine. For over 20 years Dr. Umhau was a senior clinical investigator at the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism of the National Institutes of Health (NIH).

Practice self-care by prioritizing your emotional and physical health https://www.temagumruk.com/understanding-binge-drinking-risks-effects/ through therapy, support groups, exercise, and maintaining relationships outside your marriage. Seek professional support from wellness centers or rehabilitation programs for both you and your alcoholic spouse. Professional intervention provides structured approaches to addiction treatment and family recovery. Living with an alcoholic spouse raises complex questions about relationships, mental health, and recovery.

Having boundaries avoids co-dependency and sets limits for your loved one. When someone gets too drunk or hungover to fulfill their basic responsibilities in life, they often rely on those around them to get the job done. Being close to someone addicted to alcohol can bring an immense amount of stress into your life. A lot of emotions — frustration, sadness, bitterness and more — may whirl through your mind. If you’re going to engage someone who’s been drinking and shown flashes of violence, don’t do it alone. A therapist can help you process and understand your feelings and emotions and help you advocate for them.

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